Sakura Salvation
by InTheVast
Summary: Every ending has a beginning. SeishirouSubaru


Title: Sakura Salvation  
  
Part: 1/1  
  
Rating: R (mild yaoi)  
  
Author: Emileigh (blackrosesfalling@yahoo.com)  
  
Fandom: Tokyo Babylon  
  
Disclaimer: These characters belong to the lovely ladies of Clamp. I also borrowed the quote from another TB fic.  
  
This is for Meixia, as usual, and all the other madly insane muses of my writings. And this is also for Umi-chan who just wrote her first yaoi fanfic!!! *applause*  
  
"And Every Living Thing that Could Dream Dreamed of Love"  
- Neil Gaiman, The Sandman Volume II  
  
Subaru still dreamed of sakura, they swirled into his dreams with the subtle creep of a shadow. And even though he hated it, every night he still dreamed of him. Still dreamed of a solitary hawk flying through the burning sky, still dreamed of another mouth finding his in the darkness.  
  
He passed the days craving for nicotine and unconsciousness, trying to ignore the invisible aches and pains moving through his body. Subaru recognized it as what it was, the intoxicating call of the dead. But he wasn't dead; in fact he was far from it.  
  
He did kill me that day, it's just taking me a while to die, he rationalized. I already feel like I'm wasting away.  
  
Sometimes Subaru wondered where the Sakurazukamori was, wondered what he was doing. Wondered if he was hurting someone like he hurt Hokuto-chan, or if he was hurting someone like he had hurt him.  
  
Night was his true salvation, because his dreams saved him from wondering, saved him from the bleak Tokyo reality. In a haze of sakura petals, he was falling into the holes of his past, falling into the arms of the only person he had ever truly loved, and ever truly hated.  
  
"Don't touch me!" he hissed in fury, pushing Seishirou away.  
  
"Subaru-kun..." the man wreathed in cigarette smoke whispered, removing his sunglasses to show one dark eye, and one glass. The man caught Subaru's wide eyes and smiled gently, lifting a cigarette, and inhaling before breathing out.  
  
His exhaled smoke lingered in the short distance between them-a tangible, gossamer barrier that swirled leisurely upward, shifting course through the interference of breathing.  
  
Subaru was the one to break the silence, he always was.  
  
"How dare you come into my dreams," came his unsteady voice. "How dare you."  
"Subaru-kun," the other man replied kindly. "I have never knowingly come into your dreams. It is you who pulls me into them every night."  
  
"Liar. All you've ever done is lie to me."  
  
Seishirou took another long drag on his cigarette, and the burn and smolder seemed to spread to his eyes as he looked at Subaru.  
  
"Sometimes I wonder Subaru-kun. Why is it that night after night you pull me into this dream?" The Sakurazukamori looked around Subaru's dreamscape, taking in the familiar surroundings of sakura trees and Tokyo city lights. Stray pink petals drifted into his open palm, and he clenched his fist around them, trapping them under fathomless strength. He smiled secretly at Subaru as he opened his fist, revealing that the petals were gone.  
  
"Why all of this Subaru-kun?" He gestured to their surroundings, to the sakura trees, and the distant Tokyo city lights. "You still wish to avenge her after 8 years? You still wish to kill me?" He laughed bitterly.  
  
Subaru was silent, but tears were streaking luminance down his face.  
  
"You would have had me fall in love with you, and then you would've killed me...I. I hate you Seishirou. I should hate you for that," murmured Subaru. "For doing that to me, for lying..." He was openly crying now, unable to contain the pain and humiliation riding his body. "But I can't. I can't. I love you..."  
  
Seishirou was silent, cold. Subaru's confession couldn't mean anything to him. That wasn't what he was here for.  
  
He raised his cigarette to his mouth, and inhaled slowly, and the words to hurt Subaru even more came surprisingly easy.  
  
"Hate me or love me all you want Subaru. But I happen to know that hate, and love have very little to do with want, or desire." He breathed the last word out in smoke. The tendrils reached out for Subaru like an invisible, pleading hand.  
  
"Don't." Subaru whispered, but they both knew he didn't mean it. He was broken. Seishirou had broken him.  
  
Seishirou's arms reached for him and Subaru allowed himself to be held. He hovered over Subaru, lips parted, eyes almost demanding, but not moving, only barely touching him. Just this once. maybe I can pretend.  
  
Seishirou's arms were tight around Subaru's shivering body. He still felt so hollow, so dead inside, even as he allowed Seishirou to hold him, to press his phantom kisses all over his hair, and face like he was some sort of saint. His tears were blinding him, confusing his judgment.  
  
Seishirou whispered into his ear, bending over to lick his neck. "It's only a dream; you can give in, Subaru-kun." His lips ghosted over Subaru's and then there was no resistance, only passion as their lips met in an ethereal whisper.  
  
Subaru leaned in for a deliberately brutal kiss, a thing of cruel teeth and aggressive tongue. Their kiss skirted the edges of savage, too much passion fighting to be released.  
  
Their mouths seemed to melt together, and it was something neither of them could control. Subaru's mouth was open and willing, and Seishirou's tongue seemed to be everywhere at once, all the while coaxing Subaru's lips for further entry, and further surrender. Subaru's moan was part arousal, part pain, part thwarted submission.  
  
It was a sensation that was akin to dying.  
  
When Subaru finally twisted away, he was panting, his swollen lips giving Seishirou some sort of dark satisfaction.  
  
"We'll meet again soon." And the words and the voice seemed to hold some sort of sinister, sweet promise.  
  
Seishirou's eyes held Subaru's captive, as his whole body seemed to waver between worlds. He winked his glass eye, and then dissolved into a wave of sakura petals.  
  
He was gone, between one beat of Subaru's empty heart and the next. All that was left behind was a swirl of cherry blossoms, pink with the blood of the dead and the slow dying.  
  
~FIN~ 


End file.
